I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
