it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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