Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize