Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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