Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
