Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
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