I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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