wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
