Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Randomize
