I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize