They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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