Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
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drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
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Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
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