Texts From Last Night

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  (515): View more from Iowa

  i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.

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  (515): i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty. http://tfl.nu/51bx
  Replies (13) Good night (621) Bad night (3329)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.

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  (502): Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face. http://tfl.nu/puwv
  Replies (30) Good night (1316) Bad night (4083)
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  (516): View more from New York

  She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.

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  (516): She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food. http://tfl.nu/a6vh
  Replies (14) Good night (3505) Bad night (811)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.

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  (479): This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy. http://tfl.nu/jw79
  Replies (14) Good night (3749) Bad night (1284)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.

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  (703): Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor. http://tfl.nu/fx2a
  Replies (4) Good night (2952) Bad night (1896)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up

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  (905): She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up http://tfl.nu/duhi
  Replies (25) Good night (4201) Bad night (1175)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.

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  (715): I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa. http://tfl.nu/2ols
  Replies (2) Good night (1534) Bad night (679)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager

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  (850): Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager http://tfl.nu/6wri
  Replies (15) Good night (676) Bad night (1877)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.

  (1-817): View more from Texas

  Braid them armpits, sister.

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  (817): We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered. (1-817): Braid them armpits, sister. http://tfl.nu/o7hq
  Replies (1) Good night (1400) Bad night (725)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs

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  (941): Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs http://tfl.nu/r0oh
  Replies (13) Good night (2865) Bad night (455)
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  (626): View more from California

  Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"

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  (626): Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!" http://tfl.nu/r9i7
  Replies (4) Good night (564) Bad night (386)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.

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  (847): He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order. http://tfl.nu/hqkv
  Replies (2) Good night (457) Bad night (595)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for

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  (847): I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for http://tfl.nu/6wjj
  Replies (2) Good night (474) Bad night (668)
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  (585): View more from New York

  I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?

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  (585): I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here? http://tfl.nu/2f90
  Replies (0) Good night (273) Bad night (779)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year

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  (864): Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year http://tfl.nu/8srd
  Replies (1) Good night (472) Bad night (253)

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