Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.

(303): View more from Colorado

She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye

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(303): You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake. (303): She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye http://tfl.nu/k1ky

Replies (4) Good night (1318) Bad night (528)
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(530): View more from California

Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake

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(530): Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake http://tfl.nu/i8af

Replies (27) Good night (1447) Bad night (554)
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(646): View more from New York

I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.

(347): View more from New York

And what brought this epiphany?

(646): View more from New York

I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later

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(646): I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on. (347): And what brought this epiphany? (646): I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later http://tfl.nu/hsai

Replies (27) Good night (3403) Bad night (578)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?

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(603): Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry? http://tfl.nu/3wve

Replies (40) Good night (795) Bad night (4419)
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(415): View more from California

The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.

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(415): The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now. http://tfl.nu/v0wm

Replies (34) Good night (3039) Bad night (1071)
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(706): View more from Georgia

well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.

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(706): well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun. http://tfl.nu/hotb

Replies (28) Good night (4290) Bad night (735)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.

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(484): I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today. http://tfl.nu/rr17

Replies (18) Good night (4475) Bad night (849)
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(239): View more from Florida

Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.

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(239): Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread. http://tfl.nu/62jg

Replies (18) Good night (7873) Bad night (947)
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(212): View more from New York

It's never good when you wake up covered with burns

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(212): It's never good when you wake up covered with burns http://tfl.nu/8fkk

Replies (15) Good night (731) Bad night (3944)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine

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(412): Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine http://tfl.nu/x929

Replies (15) Good night (3988) Bad night (1482)
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(818): View more from California

You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.

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(818): You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato. http://tfl.nu/nu5y

Replies (4) Good night (1317) Bad night (1150)
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(208): View more from Idaho

I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying

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(208): I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying http://tfl.nu/lvtn

Replies (8) Good night (553) Bad night (1382)
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(778): View more from British Columbia

I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.

(1-778): View more from British Columbia

You fool.

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(778): I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps. (1-778): You fool. http://tfl.nu/kp0u

Replies (10) Good night (1098) Bad night (828)
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(514): View more from Quebec

dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it

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(514): dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it http://tfl.nu/9328

Replies (6) Good night (369) Bad night (788)
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(217): View more from Illinois

List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.

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(217): List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list. http://tfl.nu/996t

Replies (17) Good night (1367) Bad night (454)

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