Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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