Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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