No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize