Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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