I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
