My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
