Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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