Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
