My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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