You made me cry and you don't even care
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
