Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
