His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
