You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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