hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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