Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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