My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize