hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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