Capitaan dildo arrescate!
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
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