i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize