do herpes really smell.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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