Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
