Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
