Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
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I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
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Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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