all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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