I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize