dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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