i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
