You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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