forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
