Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
