Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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