Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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