That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
