This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
