Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize