I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
