I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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