i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
