So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
