I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You ate ashes out of my bong
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
