I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
