I'm lost and stupid without you.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize