You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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