Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize