i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
