i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
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This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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