There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
