got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
