I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
