my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
