sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
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