There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
